How do you practice good self-care? That’s a good question.
People are different and so are their needs. Therefore, one person’s idea of self-care is not like the other. The general concept may be the same, but what you need in order to take care of yourself may vastly differ from your friend’s, or neighbour’s or the Starbucks barista who served your last cappuccino. For example, I know people who like to sit and power watch the latest trending series on Netflix (me!) and others who may need an evening out with friends (also me!) In other words, there is truly no right or wrong way to practice self-care. It is not some ritualistic ceremony with self that needs to take place every Sunday evening at 7 PM once the kids are finally in bed! There is a lot of wiggle room when it comes to self-care.
There may be no set rules for self-care but it might be easier if we define it according to the following list of criteria.
Self-care should be something that we do for ourselves for sheer pleasure and enjoyment.
This sounds lovely, doesn’t it? So, what is your pleasure? Is it eating chocolate? A hobby you enjoy? Or would you rather listen to some soft music while soaking in the tub? All of these are forms of self-care. The thing is, it doesn’t have to be a big deal. There may be times where we need to practice self-care for longer periods of time, or even more frequently than we have been, but you do not want to add pressure to yourself. The goal is to take away some of that mounting pressure. Whatever you do, make sure to do it because it makes you feel good!
Self-care should re-energize you in some way.
Quite simply, after you have practiced your chosen form of self-care, you should feel a sense of renewal. It may only be a part of you that feels like it has had a much-needed time out from your hectic life. That’s okay. The point is, you should always feel better after than you did before.
Self-care should be time away from your regular routine.
In other words, self-care is not grabbing a coffee through the drive-thru on the way to work (with traffic lights and all). Yikes! Typing out those words just made me tense up. No. Self-care needs to be practiced outside of your routine. So, if that means you want to take the long way home through the country after work then go for it!
Self-care should be guilt-free.
Above all else, I feel that this is the one that should be in flashing red letters scrolling across your screen. We all have guilt and we have to accept that. It is a fact of life. But please, do not let that interfere with your self-care practices. Especially us busy parents who have mastered the guilt game…I hope you are listening. Guilt breeds destructive feelings and that can very quickly lead to a depreciation of our mental health (depression, anxiety, low self-esteem). No thanks. Period.
Self-care should bring us inner peace and restore the imbalances in our lives (if only temporarily).
I get it. I know that this inner peace can’t last forever, but hey, we can allow ourselves 15 minutes, 30 minutes, or an hour when our lives call for it. Inner peace is when you feel at ease with the world and with your place in it. This is the time when you can reconnect with nature or with a friend, or most importantly, with yourself. Inner peace brings you those warm, fuzzy feelings that make you feel whole again (even if only temporarily). The truth is, the more we practice, the better we become at it and that opens up more space in our lives for us.
Here are some final tips for you to include in your practice:
Ask yourself what is it that you need or what can enhance your life in some way.
Be realistic with your expectations. Maybe you won’t be able to take the day off work and go to the spa, but you can enjoy some one-on-one time with YOU!
Relish the time that you take for yourself. Treat it as if you don’t know when it will happen again because you might not. It is your precious time. Savour. Every. Last. Minute.
Do something you enjoy doing. It doesn’t have to be by yourself. But don’t play a round of golf if that is not relaxing to you. It is okay to say no.
Most of all, be gentle with yourself. If this is a new practice for you, take any small step to get started. If this is old hat to you, keep the practice going strong and look for new ways to incorporate more time for you.
Here are some examples of ways to practice self-care. By no means is this list limited to the many wonderful possibilities out there.
Take a walk out in nature and don’t look at the ground. Be observant of your surroundings.
Be physical. Take a yoga class, go to the gym, or join a running club.
Listen to music you enjoy. Spotify is great for compiling a running list of your favourite music.
Take up a new hobby. From knitting to making Youtube videos and/or anything in between.
Practice meditation and deep breathing. This is very relaxing and is good for your overall health.
Cook yourself a nourishing meal or try out a new recipe.
Go to bed early every once in a while, or stay up late when the house is quiet. Either works.
Read a book that has been on your reading list forever.
Start a gratitude journal (or a blog)!
Chat with a good friend and make a plan to do something fun.
Take a bath with bubbles (this can be interpreted a few different ways), Epsom salts, or take an extra long shower.
Lastly, don’t forget to watch that trending series on Netflix I mentioned earlier.
